{"id":1101,"date":"2008-06-02T09:29:35","date_gmt":"2008-06-02T17:29:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/?p=1101"},"modified":"2009-07-19T08:38:12","modified_gmt":"2009-07-19T16:38:12","slug":"evil-raccoons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/archives\/2008\/06\/02\/evil-raccoons","title":{"rendered":"Evil Raccoons and Mendacious Students"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/gallery2\/main.php?g2_itemId=65694&amp;g2_GALLERYSID=TMP_SESSION_ID_DI_NOISSES_PMT\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/gallery2\/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&amp;g2_itemId=65695&amp;g2_GALLERYSID=TMP_SESSION_ID_DI_NOISSES_PMT\" width=\"113\" height=\"150\" alt=\"wounded-whitney\" title=\"Whitney bearing a hand wound.\" class=\"g2image_float_right\"><\/a>A few weeks ago, Whit\u00adney showed up to Chi Alpha\u2019s week\u00adly meet\u00ading with a large ban\u00addage wrapped around her hand. I asked her what had hap\u00adpened, and she told me of a fero\u00adcious rac\u00adcoon attack while walk\u00ading along Lake Lagu\u00adni\u00adta.<\/p>\n<p>This was not sur\u00adpris\u00ading to me. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.raccoonsareevil.com\/\">Rac\u00adcoons are evil<\/a>. All right-think\u00ading peo\u00adple know this in their mar\u00adrow.<\/p>\n<p>Sure, they look cute with their lit\u00adtle paws and their masked face, but <a href=\"http:\/\/next.bible.org\/verse\/2Co\/11\/14\">even Satan seems to be a beau\u00adti\u00adful angel<\/a> <\/p>\n<div style=\"display:none\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.vfilings.com?river_queen\">down\u00adload riv\u00ader queen<\/a><\/div>\n<p> . No \u2014 rac\u00adcoons are as evil as a sub\u00adhu\u00adman mam\u00admal can be. And giv\u00aden that <a href=\"http:\/\/www.stanfordu.edu\/dept\/news\/pr\/93\/930728Arc3176.html\">rac\u00adcoons roam freely<\/a> <\/p>\n<div style=\"display:none\"><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.segd.org\/?solstice\">down\u00adload sol\u00adstice<\/a><\/div>\n<ul style=\"display:none\">\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/turtleconservationfund.org\/?vengeance\">vengeance movie down\u00adload<\/a> <strong style=\"display:none\"><a href=\"http:\/\/yourrnc.com\/?before_sunrise\">down\u00adload before sun\u00adrise dvd<\/a><\/strong> <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>  across cam\u00adpus, some\u00adthing like this was inevitable.<\/p>\n<p>Real\u00adiz\u00ading that I was sit\u00adting on enter\u00adtain\u00adment gold, I asked Whit\u00adney to keep silent until the announce\u00adment time, when I would inter\u00adview her and allow her to regale the entire group with her sto\u00adry.<\/p>\n<p>After wor\u00adship, I called her to the front and asked her what had hap\u00adpened. As she held her ban\u00addaged hand high and said, \u201cI was bit\u00adten by a rac\u00adcoon,\u201d Desir\u00adae cried out, \u201cI knew those things were dan\u00adger\u00adous!\u201d  A hush fell over the room as she began to tell her tale. <\/p>\n<p>She and her room\u00admate had been walk\u00ading around Lake Lag when Whit\u00adney noticed a rac\u00adcoon mov\u00ading about in the bush\u00ades. She turned to her room\u00admate to point it out and saw a flur\u00adry of motion out of the cor\u00adner of her eye. The next thing she knew, she was being lunged at by an appar\u00adent\u00adly car\u00adniv\u00ado\u00adrous rac\u00adcoon. She fend\u00aded it off, suf\u00adfer\u00ading a griev\u00adous hand wound in the process.<\/p>\n<p>Her room\u00admate, a pre-med stu\u00addent, gave her some quick treat\u00adment and then she head\u00aded over to Vaden health cen\u00adter for fur\u00adther med\u00adica\u00adtion.<\/p>\n<p>At this point, you could have heard a pin drop in the Chi Alpha meet\u00ading. Every stu\u00addent there was think\u00ading of the many times they had seen rac\u00adcoons ram\u00adbling across cam\u00adpus, look\u00ading at Whit\u00adney\u2019s ban\u00addaged hand, and think\u00ading, \u201cThere but for the grace of God go I.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At least until Whit\u00adney burst out laugh\u00ading and said, \u201cAnd you believe me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I said, \u201cBwah?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Whit\u00adney said, \u201cI was mak\u00ading that up. I tripped and hurt my hand. My room\u00admate said that was too bor\u00ading and that I should make up a bet\u00adter sto\u00adry. So far every\u00adone I\u2019ve told has believed me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The room erupt\u00aded in laugh\u00adter.<\/p>\n<p>For those keep\u00ading score:<br>\nWhit\u00adney: 1<br>\nGlen: 0<br>\nRac\u00adcoons: neg\u00ada\u00adtive infin\u00adi\u00adty<\/p>\n<p>And that\u2019s why peo\u00adple should always come to Chi Alpha in per\u00adson rather than just watch\u00ading our meet\u00adings online \u2014 you nev\u00ader know what\u2019s going to hap\u00adpen when the cam\u00ader\u00ada\u2019s not run\u00adning.<\/p>\n<p style=\"display:none\"><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.segd.org\/?rising_damp\">ris\u00ading damp movie<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A few weeks ago, Whit\u00adney showed up to Chi Alpha\u2019s week\u00adly meet\u00ading with a large ban\u00addage wrapped around her hand. I asked her what had hap\u00adpened, and she told me of a fero\u00adcious rac\u00adcoon attack while walk\u00ading along Lake Lagu\u00adni\u00adta. This was not sur\u00adpris\u00ading to me. Rac\u00adcoons are evil. All right-think\u00ading peo\u00adple know this in \u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/archives\/2008\/06\/02\/evil-raccoons\" class=\"more-link\">Con\u00adtin\u00adue read\u00ading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> \u201cEvil Rac\u00adcoons and Men\u00adda\u00adcious Stu\u00addents\u201d<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1101","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stanfordministry-news"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6Ded-hL","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1101","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1101"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1101\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2098,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1101\/revisions\/2098"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1101"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1101"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1101"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}