{"id":3338,"date":"2011-11-08T06:09:00","date_gmt":"2011-11-08T14:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/archives\/2011\/11\/08\/if-i-was-rich-and-bored"},"modified":"2011-11-08T08:44:40","modified_gmt":"2011-11-08T16:44:40","slug":"if-i-was-rich-and-bored","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/archives\/2011\/11\/08\/if-i-was-rich-and-bored","title":{"rendered":"If I Was Rich and Bored"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Airport<\/a><\/p>\n

As I was stand\u00ading in line for secu\u00adri\u00adty screen\u00ading at a flight, I began to think about how ridicu\u00adlous so much of air\u00adport secu\u00adri\u00adty is.<\/p>\n

I decid\u00aded that if I were rich and bored it would be fun to buy thou\u00adsands of nail clip\u00adpers and stuff them into my suit\u00adcase. I sup\u00adpose it would look like sol\u00adid met\u00adal when the machine scanned it, and so a phys\u00adi\u00adcal inspec\u00adtion would be required.<\/p>\n

I imag\u00adine the TSA agents unzip\u00adping the suit\u00adcase and gaz\u00ading upon count\u00adless nail clip\u00adpers. At first they would be puz\u00adzled. Then, slow\u00adly, com\u00adpre\u00adhen\u00adsion would dawn. I would wait one heart\u00adbeat after that moment of aware\u00adness, then yell to the pas\u00adsen\u00adgers behind me, \u201cOper\u00ada\u00adtion nail clip\u00adpers is a no go. Repeat, no go. Run for it!\u201d<\/p>\n

And then as I rush off into the dis\u00adtance, I would cack\u00adle back over my shoul\u00adder, \u201cThis isn\u2019t over. We\u2019ll be back. Next time we\u2019re bring\u00ading bot\u00adtles of water! Your planes will nev\u00ader sur\u00advive against our schemes! Bwa\u00adha\u00adha\u00adhah!\u201d<\/p>\n

And then I would use my rich per\u00adson mag\u00adic to make the charges against me go away.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what I would do if I was rich and bored. As things stand, I was bored but not rich, so I left my nail clip\u00adpers at home and dis\u00adposed of my dead\u00adly bev\u00ader\u00adage and all you get is this med\u00adi\u00adta\u00adtion upon the secu\u00adri\u00adty farce we endure when we fly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I was stand\u00ading in line for secu\u00adri\u00adty screen\u00ading at a flight, I began to think about how ridicu\u00adlous so much of air\u00adport secu\u00adri\u00adty is. I decid\u00aded that if I were rich and bored it would be fun to buy thou\u00adsands of nail clip\u00adpers and stuff them into my suit\u00adcase. I sup\u00adpose it would look \u2026 Con\u00adtin\u00adue read\u00ading \u201cIf I Was Rich and Bored\u201d<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3338","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-of-random-interest"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6Ded-RQ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3338","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3338"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3338\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3348,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3338\/revisions\/3348"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3338"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3338"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3338"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}