So we have a rat in our apartment. At least some of the time.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re not certain of this, but our best guess is that he\u2019s a refugee from our neighbors\u2019 place<\/a>. They\u2019ve been trying to evict a rat for months.<\/p>\n And last night Paula and I saw him in our dining room.<\/p>\n We set out traps. He ate the food off of them and laughed at our antiquated technology. He must be a stainless steel rat<\/a> (how\u2019s that for a gratuitous geek reference?)<\/p>\n Our other neighbors have cats, and so we asked for a cat toy to set out. We were operating under the theory that rats fear cats and that the smell would drive him to safer realms. Alas\u2013this is a bold rat who enjoys playing with cat toys.<\/p>\n So as a last-ditch effort, Paula and I are resorting to psy-ops.<\/p>\n We left a note on our neighbors\u2019 door to woo him home.<\/p>\n \nDear Rat,<\/p>\n Please come home. Our food is organic and better-tasting. Also our kid is cute and wants a pet.<\/p>\n With much love,<\/p>\n Dirk & Emily <\/p><\/blockquote>\n In a very canny move, however, our neighbors demonstrated that they have careers in counterintelligence in case other things don\u2019t pan out. The following was affixed to our door, directly facing the note that we had placed on their door.<\/p>\n \nDearest Rat,<\/p>\n Ignore the sign on the other door\u2013they just want to kill you! We looooove you!! And our kid is at a developmentally appropriate age to appreciate rodents. The other kid will try to eat you. Or your poop.<\/p>\n Love,<\/p>\n The Davises\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Fortunately, Paula discovered a handwritten missive from the rodent at large which she delivered to Emily moments ago.<\/p>\n \nDear Davis Family,<\/p>\n Thank you for your hospitality. You place was a great vacation spot. But now that the Robinsons are back I think I should go home. After all, winter is coming and their kid would be more useful in a blizzard, if you know what I mean.<\/p>\n I appreciate the thought behind your note, but I know the Robinsons quite well. After all, we share a bedroom (heck, sometimes we share a futon).<\/p>\n Signed,<\/p>\n The Rat\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Yes, it actually says, \u201cSigned, The Rat\u201d at the end. Rats don\u2019t get much instruction in writing letters at elementary school.<\/p>\n Anyway, I\u2019ll keep you posted as developments warrant.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So we have a rat in our apartment. At least some of the time. We\u2019re not certain of this, but our best guess is that he\u2019s a refugee from our neighbors\u2019 place. They\u2019ve been trying to evict a rat for months. And last night Paula and I saw him in our dining room. We set out \u2026 Continue reading \u201cRat-Pong\u201d<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-376","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal-news"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6Ded-64","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/376","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=376"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/376\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}