{"id":5052,"date":"2018-07-12T16:02:07","date_gmt":"2018-07-13T00:02:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/?p=5052"},"modified":"2018-07-12T16:07:33","modified_gmt":"2018-07-13T00:07:33","slug":"the-four-loves-affection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/archives\/2018\/07\/12\/the-four-loves-affection","title":{"rendered":"The Four Loves: Affection"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_5041\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5041\" style=\"width: 192px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-5041\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/220px-The_Four_Loves.jpg?resize=192%2C300&#038;ssl=1\" alt width=\"192\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/220px-The_Four_Loves.jpg?resize=192%2C300&amp;ssl=1 192w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/220px-The_Four_Loves.jpg?w=220&amp;ssl=1 220w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 192px) 85vw, 192px\"><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-5041\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><em>Blog read\u00aders: Chi Alpha @ Stan\u00adford is engag\u00ading in our annu\u00adal sum\u00admer read\u00ading project. As we read through three books by C. S. Lewis, I\u2019ll post my thoughts here (which will large\u00adly con\u00adsist of excerpts I found insight\u00adful). They are all tagged <a href=\"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/archives\/tag\/summer-reading-project-2018\">sum\u00admer-read\u00ading-project-2018<\/a>. The sched\u00adule is <a href=\"https:\/\/xastanford.org\/summer-reading\">online<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">YouTube has some\u00adthing amaz\u00ading in rela\u00adtion to this week\u2019s read\u00ading: the man him\u00adself deliv\u00ader\u00ading the radio address upon which the chap\u00adter is based. Check out <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=m4hI638mskQ\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Four Loves (\u2018Storge\u2019 or \u2018Affec\u00adtion\u2019)<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (or you can <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/drive.google.com\/file\/d\/0B8lkIorOqTUySlloZUtRT2hMMXM\/view\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">read the tran\u00adscript<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">). You should at least lis\u00adten to a few min\u00adutes if you\u2019ve nev\u00ader heard the voice of Lewis before.<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"jetpack-video-wrapper\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"840\" height=\"473\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/m4hI638mskQ?version=3&amp;rel=1&amp;showsearch=0&amp;showinfo=1&amp;iv_load_policy=1&amp;fs=1&amp;hl=en-US&amp;autohide=2&amp;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In this chap\u00adter, Lewis dis\u00adcuss\u00ades the type of love described by the Greek word&nbsp;<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wiktionary.org\/wiki\/%CF%83%CF%84%CE%BF%CF%81%CE%B3%CE%AE\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">storge (\u00cf\u0192\u00cf\u201e\u00ce\u00bf\u00cf\u0081\u00ce\u00b3\u00ce\u00ae<\/span>)<\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. In Eng\u00adlish we would talk about affec\u00adtion or fond\u00adness.&nbsp;<\/span>Inter\u00adest\u00ading\u00adly (at least to me), this Greek word appears only in the neg\u00ada\u00adtive in the New Tes\u00adta\u00adment. In both Romans 1:31 and 2 Tim\u00ado\u00adthy 3:3 the word&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/biblehub.com\/greek\/794.htm\">astor\u00adgos (\u00e1\u00bc\u201e\u00cf\u0192\u00cf\u201e\u00ce\u00bf\u00cf\u0081\u00ce\u00b3\u00ce\u00bf\u00cf\u201a)<\/a> is ren\u00addered by var\u00adi\u00adous trans\u00adla\u00adtions as&nbsp;\u201cheart\u00adless\u201d or \u201cunlov\u00ading\u201d or \u201cwith\u00adout nat\u00adur\u00adal affec\u00adtion.\u201d When your Eng\u00adlish trans\u00adla\u00adtion of the New Tes\u00adta\u00adment con\u00adtains the word affec\u00adtion it is prob\u00ada\u00adbly rep\u00adre\u00adsent\u00ading&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/biblehub.com\/greek\/4698.htm\">splangxnon (\u00cf\u0192\u00cf\u20ac\u00ce\u00bb\u00ce\u00b1\u00ce\u00b3\u00cf\u2021\u00ce\u00b7\u00ce\u00bd\u00ce\u00bf\u00ce\u00bd)<\/a>&nbsp;instead. This does\u00adn\u2019t affect what Lewis says in the slight\u00adest. I just find it inter\u00adest\u00ading.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On to what Lewis actu\u00adal\u00adly said.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The first thing that stood out to me was a pithy phrase: \u201cThey seal up the very foun\u00adtain for which they are thirsty.\u201d (page 769)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Lewis is speak\u00ading about peo\u00adple whose crav\u00ading for affec\u00adtion is so intense that they push away the peo\u00adple around them. It\u2019s some\u00adthing I\u2019ve seen before, but the imagery Lewis uses is so evoca\u00adtive that it made me real\u00adize afresh how trag\u00adic it is. More than that, it made me pause and reflect on whether there are any areas of my life in which I am pur\u00adsu\u00ading some\u00adthing so inept\u00adly that I make suc\u00adcess less like\u00adly with every attempt I make.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The next bit that stood out to me came near the end of the chap\u00adter. Lewis makes a point about our ten\u00adden\u00adcy to treat affec\u00adtion gone bad as a psy\u00adcho\u00adlog\u00adi\u00adcal prob\u00adlem.<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I do not think we shall see things more clear\u00adly by clas\u00adsi\u00adfy\u00ading all these malef\u00adi\u00adcal states of Affec\u00adtion as patho\u00adlog\u00adi\u00adcal. No doubt there are real\u00adly patho\u00adlog\u00adi\u00adcal con\u00addi\u00adtions which make the temp\u00adta\u00adtion to these states abnor\u00admal\u00adly hard or even impos\u00adsi\u00adble to resist for par\u00adtic\u00adu\u00adlar peo\u00adple. Send those peo\u00adple to the doc\u00adtors by all means. But I believe that every\u00adone who is hon\u00adest with him\u00adself will admit that he has felt these temp\u00adta\u00adtions. Their occur\u00adrence is not a dis\u00adease; or if it is, the name of that dis\u00adease is Being a Fall\u00aden Man. In ordi\u00adnary peo\u00adple the yield\u00ading to them\u2014and who does not some\u00adtimes yield?\u2014is not dis\u00adease, but sin. Spir\u00adi\u00adtu\u00adal direc\u00adtion will here help us more than med\u00adical treat\u00adment. Med\u00adi\u00adcine labours to restore \u201cnat\u00adur\u00adal\u201d struc\u00adture or \u201cnor\u00admal\u201d func\u00adtion. But greed, ego\u00adism, self-decep\u00adtion and self-pity are not unnat\u00adur\u00adal or abnor\u00admal in the same sense as astig\u00adma\u00adtism or a float\u00ading kid\u00adney. For who, in Heaven\u2019s name, would describe as nat\u00adur\u00adal or nor\u00admal the man from whom these fail\u00adings were whol\u00adly absent? \u201cNat\u00adur\u00adal,\u201d if you like, in a quite dif\u00adfer\u00adent sense; arch\u00adnat\u00adur\u00adal, unfall\u00aden. We have seen only one such Man. And He was not at all like the psychologist\u2019s pic\u00adture of the inte\u00adgrat\u00aded, bal\u00adanced, adjust\u00aded, hap\u00adpi\u00adly mar\u00adried, employed, pop\u00adu\u00adlar cit\u00adi\u00adzen. You can\u2019t real\u00adly be very well \u201cadjust\u00aded\u201d to your world if it says you \u201chave a dev\u00adil\u201d and ends by nail\u00ading you up naked to a stake of wood. (page 778)<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As oth\u00aders have said, we live in a ther\u00ada\u00adpeu\u00adtic age. We are con\u00addi\u00adtioned to assume neg\u00ada\u00adtive thoughts and emo\u00adtions are psy\u00adcho\u00adlog\u00adi\u00adcal prob\u00adlems, but that\u2019s not always true. I remem\u00adber a quote from Carl Elliott that hit me like a thun\u00adder\u00adbolt when I was in grad school.<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">On Prozac, Sisy\u00adphus might well push the boul\u00adder back up the moun\u00adtain with more enthu\u00adsi\u00adasm and more cre\u00adativ\u00adi\u00adty. I do not want to deny the ben\u00ade\u00adfits of psy\u00adchoac\u00adtive med\u00adica\u00adtion. I just want to point out that Sisy\u00adphus is not a patient with a men\u00adtal health prob\u00adlem. To see him as a patient with a men\u00adtal health prob\u00adlem is to ignore cer\u00adtain larg\u00ader aspects of his predica\u00adment con\u00adnect\u00aded to boul\u00adders, moun\u00adtains, and eter\u00adni\u00adty. (UPDATE: I for\u00adget where I first saw this quote \u2014 I thought it was from The Atlantic in an arti\u00adcle called &nbsp;\u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/magazine\/archive\/2003\/08\/the-pursuit-of-happiness\/303096\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Pur\u00adsuit of Hap\u00adpi\u00adness<\/a>\u201d, but it was pub\u00adlished too late for that to be the case<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">)<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some\u00adtimes neg\u00ada\u00adtive thoughts and feel\u00adings are nat\u00adur\u00adal (one might even say healthy) respons\u00ades to our sit\u00adu\u00ada\u00adtion, some\u00adtimes they are mis\u00adtak\u00aden but not espe\u00adcial\u00adly harm\u00adful, some\u00adtimes they are sin\u00adful, and some\u00adtimes they are the result of psy\u00adcho\u00adlog\u00adi\u00adcal prob\u00adlems. Be open to the full range of pos\u00adsi\u00adbil\u00adi\u00adties. &nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Before wind\u00ading this down, I\u2019d like to high\u00adlight one more of Lewis\u2019s insights. Ear\u00adly in the chap\u00adter as bit of an aside, Lewis says<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The rival\u00adry between all nat\u00adur\u00adal loves and the love of God is some\u00adthing a Chris\u00adt\u00adian dare not for\u00adget. God is the great Rival, the ulti\u00admate object of human jeal\u00adousy; that beau\u00adty, ter\u00adri\u00adble as the Gorgon\u2019s, which may at any moment steal from me\u2014or it seems like steal\u00ading to me\u2014my wife\u2019s or husband\u2019s or daughter\u2019s heart. <\/span><b>The bit\u00adter\u00adness of some unbe\u00adlief, though dis\u00adguised even from those who feel it as anti-cler\u00adi\u00adcal\u00adism or hatred of super\u00adsti\u00adtion, is real\u00adly due to this.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (page 767\u2013768, empha\u00adsis added)<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some of your friends who are angry about reli\u00adgion are angry because they are jeal\u00adous. Your friend is bent \u2014 per\u00adhaps with\u00adout even real\u00adiz\u00ading it \u2014 because some\u00adone\u2019s love for God has cre\u00adat\u00aded dis\u00adtance between them and your friend.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re ever talk\u00ading about God with some\u00adone and you can hear anger in their voice, bear this insight in mind. It might help explain what\u2019s going on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m lov\u00ading the Lewis read\u00adings so far.&nbsp;<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Next week: the love between friends.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>P.S. If, per\u00adchance, you are behind on your read\u00adings then just skip ahead. Start keep\u00ading up now \u2014 you can always go back and read the parts you missed lat\u00ader.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Blog read\u00aders: Chi Alpha @ Stan\u00adford is engag\u00ading in our annu\u00adal sum\u00admer read\u00ading project. As we read through three books by C. S. Lewis, I\u2019ll post my thoughts here (which will large\u00adly con\u00adsist of excerpts I found insight\u00adful). They are all tagged sum\u00admer-read\u00ad\u00ading-project-2018. The sched\u00adule is online. YouTube has some\u00adthing amaz\u00ading in rela\u00adtion to this \u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/archives\/2018\/07\/12\/the-four-loves-affection\" class=\"more-link\">Con\u00adtin\u00adue read\u00ading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> \u201cThe Four Loves: Affec\u00adtion\u201d<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Lewis's comments on affection, in which he notes that some people inadvertently\"seal up the very fountain for which they are thirsty.\u201d","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[8],"tags":[230,229,232],"class_list":["post-5052","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-resources-reviews","tag-c-s-lewis","tag-summer-reading-project-2018","tag-the-four-loves"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6Ded-1ju","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5052","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5052"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5052\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5061,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5052\/revisions\/5061"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5052"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5052"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/glenandpaula.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5052"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}