Dana’s Biggest Words

Dana is 18 months old now, and her two biggest words are opposites and Rochester (a friend of hers is on vacation in said community).

It’s really funny to watch her say them. It takes all of her mental power to get all the syllables out in the right order and with the correct emphasis.

Kids are great.

On a related note, my pastor’s youngest son has starting saying suffering succotash, but is tragically prone to confusing his s’s with f’s. I leave the ensuing mispronunciation to your agile imagination.

Pastor, Is Your Church Too Small?

He even looks a little like a pastor...Adam Long recently emailed this to me and some other friends and with his permission I post it here for the world to enjoy.

A disclaimer: I don’t know anything about Nelson Searcy. He’s probably a great guy who has very helpful insights. The commentary below isn’t about him or his ministry–it’s about his marketing. In fact, it’s about the way most ministry training is marketed. And it’s pretty funny.

I have a long running problem with the conflation of capitalist marketing and church life. Yes, yes, I believe in redeeming the culture. No, no, I’m not a Marxist. But I think that we may be heading down a dangerous road. And we need to think things through before diving in.

So here’s my problem. I think there’s too much similarity between marketing for “church growth” services and male enhancement products.

Please don’t dismiss this. I’m not trying to be unnecessarily provocative. I don’t completely buy Freud, but so much church growth material seems to tap a certain form of envy that strikes many males.

Just take a look at the following quotes from the attached piece, “WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING ABOUT A COACHING COMMUNITY WITH NELSON SEARCY.”

  • Assimilation has been huge!!!
  • I was slumping in my personal growth
  • This would have saved me several years of frustration
  • You don’t have to be alone, do it alone
  • Coaching Community gave me more confidence, competency
  • Do it! It is worth exponentially more than the fees!
  • Don’t miss this opportunity to grow yourself

I’ve heard people compare TBN to the Home Shopping Network. It’s so easy to make fun of others as long as their religious style differs from ours. But what happens when “our” groups sound like Enzyte comercials? Seriously? What do we do?

The uber-witty Anthony Scoma replied:

That is hilarious, but you missed the best line, My being challenged as a leader has raised “the bar” for leaders in our church.

Good News/Bad News

When I’m not out preaching, our family attends Pathway Church in Palo Alto. Pathway is an 8‑month old church plant. Good things are happening there–a Mormon lady converted last week, for instance.

But anyone who’s ever started a ministry from scratch knows that some days are just painful to be a part of. Things go wrong that you would never imagine could go wrong.

This was one such day.

  • Good News: guest shows up based entirely on our internet ads.
    Bad News: while chatting with the pastor before the service she is struck solidly in the neck by a frisbee and has to go home, take some medicine, and lie down.
  • Good News: I brought five students from Stanford to check out the church.
    Bad News: every single one of our regulars who wasn’t helping missed church today. Every. Single. One. During worship it was me and the students in the congregation.
  • Good News: the songs were really cool songs.
    Bad News: two of the microphones stopped working between the sound check and the start of service and somehow the keyboard became possessed by a demon. At least, that’s my best guess. It sure moaned as though possessed.
  • Good News: Scott’s sermon was thoughtful and well-presented.
    Bad News: the translation that was shown on the screen was different from the translation Scott was reading despite being purportedly the same (further investigation reveals there are two editions of the New Living Translation–our pew Bibles are the first and our computer Bible is the second–who knew?). The effect was disconcerting and distracted from an otherwise excellent message.

I’m not one to hyperspiritualize things, but I see a correlation between the success our church has been enjoying lately and all the “nobody’s fault” glitches that popped up today. The Bible teaches us that we have an enemy, and sometimes he leaves scat behind.

This is clearly going to be one of those services we spend a lot of time laughing about in a few years… especially the frisbee in the neck bit. How random is that?

Python Eats Alligator, Pops

This just in from National Geographic: pythons eat alligators and get really bad indigestion xxx movie . “Clashes between alligators and pythons have been on the rise in the Everglades for the past 20 years. Unwanted pet snakes dumped in the swamp have thrived, and the Asian reptile is now a major competitor in the alligator’s native ecosystem.”

Lay Leadership Summit

Every year our district sponsors an event called The Lay Leadership Summit. It’s a big conference designed to help church volunteers do their jobs better. There are about 50 learning tracks (each with four workshops) ranging from children’s ministry to using the internet effectively to using lighting and sound systems. We, of course, sponsor a college ministry track.

I mention all this by way of introduction to mention two people I interacted with this weekend: Dan Betzer and John Abela.

Dan Betzer is a legend in the Assemblies of God–he’s an incredible speaker, a missions fanatic, and an extremely successful pastor. He’s also a bit of a hero of mine (his wife, incidentally, blogs).

Anyway, I learned two things about him this weekend:
1) he once lost his ministerial credentials for seven years for flouting the hierarchy’s rules
2) he’s such an introvert that he keeps his office at 60 degrees so that people feel too chilly to hang around and chit-chat

For the record, he and I have never had a conversation. I gleaned one tidbit from his sermon and another from a friend of his.

The second person I met was John Abela. John is a former core member of the phpBB2 team and runs the most popular conglomeration of Assemblies of God websites in the world. I am told that his total bandwidth exceeds that of all the national Assembly of God websites in every nation combined.

That tickles me. Many of our leaders attempt to lead by limiting information and don’t seem to realize that’s no longer possible. John has effectively done an end run on a ton of stupid rules in the Assemblies of God and because he’s a layperson no one can stop him–he’s got no credentials for them to revoke. I love it.

He mentioned that he gets a phone call from some AG official or another about once a week asking him to stop doing what he’s doing. Even allowing for conversational hyperbole, that sounds about right. He’s making people nervous enough that we’ve even had resolutions at General Council prompted by one of his sites.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I think John’s a cool guy and that he’s making our movement better by using the web to help people. Kudos to him.

Completely Random Dream

I never remember my dreams, and so I was very surprised this morning when I woke up and remembered an extremely bizarre dream sequence.

In my dream I was reading an op-ed piece by someone–I’m pretty sure it was Victor Davis Hanson. As I read a sentence stuck in my mind, “If you sneak around on private property long enough, you will convince yourself you have a right to be there.”

How bizarre.

Tonight I’ll probably have a dream about hearing Hugh Hewitt say something like, “If you trash-talk a nominee long enough, you will convince yourself she is unqualified to be a janitor.”

Induced Combustion

Lindsey Hawley (who will soon escape the frozen tundra of Alaksa and move in with Paula and I) burst into flame the other day, prompting reflection (and no small amount of laughter) on our part.

Our thoughts:

  • We’re fortunate not to have a gas stove.
  • We’re fortunate not to favor flammable sleepwear.
  • We’re fortunate not to have large windows in our kitchen.
  • We’re fortunate to have learned of Lindsey’s proclivities so early. New rule: Lindsey can’t cook coed. And we’ll start storing a spare robe next to the fire extinguisher.