Life in the Dorms

What life looks like in a fresh­man dorm at 3 AM.

I just ran across a real­ly inter­est­ing arti­cle about life in the Stan­ford dorms from the per­spec­tive of a fac­ul­ty mem­ber who’s been liv­ing in Don­ner House for 16 years.

One excerpt on the late-night scene: By day, fresh­men man­age the ins and outs of aca­d­e­m­ic and res­i­den­tial life; they are ded­i­cat­ed stu­dents, loy­al friends, com­mit­ted musi­cians, gift­ed ath­letes, devot­ed com­mu­ni­ty vol­un­teers. But an RF soon learns that this every­day world is to some extent a con­ces­sion on their part: they’re gen­er­al­ly very nice peo­ple and bear us no par­tic­u­lar grudges. They’ll play our detail- and sched­ule-laden game if that’s what we real­ly want. But when the adult world puts on its bathrobe and gets ready to turn in, anoth­er real­i­ty bub­bles up in the hall­ways and lounges.

Late at night, when the every­day has lost its grip, con­ven­tion, habit and expec­ta­tion fall away in a gen­er­al lib­er­a­tion from the demands of the clock. There is no eti­quette for paja­maed encoun­ters over Proust, MP3s, the Bud­dha, the Band. There are no cour­te­sies between two stu­dents with tooth­brush­es in hand and some­thing on their minds. Dur­ing these clock­less nights, stu­dents begin to find and edu­cate them­selves. The con­ver­sa­tions are not always tony ones on reli­gion or phi­los­o­phy; stu­dents also mix it up on the design of the dorm T‑shirt, the no-car pol­i­cy for frosh, the virtues of Willy Won­ka, the dif­fer­ence between “mankind” and “human­i­ty.” And these dis­cus­sions take place in the non­tra­di­tion­al space of no per­cep­ti­ble time at all.

The late-night com­mu­ni­ty stu­dents seem to cre­ate auto­mat­i­cal­ly is an impor­tant, per­haps even vital, rite of pas­sage from the world of inher­it­ed ideas to the world of real thought. In this noc­tur­nal place of chaot­ic chal­lenge and rev­e­la­tion, new worlds can be con­tem­plat­ed, along with the lat­est crush. And it was an invi­ta­tion to this con­ver­sa­tion that I refused when I remind­ed Bri­an of the time.

Except in the class­room, most of us at the Uni­ver­si­ty have lit­tle to do with under­grad­u­ate life. When we do become involved, we are often rep­re­sent­ing the University’s author­i­ty to its most insistent—and some­times troublesome—students. As a res­i­dent fel­low, I’ve had my share of dif­fi­cult dis­cus­sions. It falls to the RF, for instance, to tell a stu­dent that, delight­ful per­son that he is, he’s an ugly drunk. Or, as the care­tak­er of the whole com­mu­ni­ty, an RF will have the unpleas­ant task of let­ting a few stu­dents know that their par­tic­u­lar brand of hilarity—sexist, homo­pho­bic, or just plain loud or smelly—is a pain in the col­lec­tive tush. I remem­ber once hav­ing to remind a group of young men that when our facil­i­ties super­vi­sor (a won­der­ful woman who took vir­tu­al­ly every oth­er thing about dorm life in stride) was in the men’s bath­room, they need­ed to refrain from using the uri­nals. And I remem­ber rather twitchi­ly see­ing the stu­dents out, care­ful­ly shut­ting my door and col­laps­ing in laughter—at the sheer ridicu­lous­ness of hav­ing to remind smart young peo­ple of such a nor­mal cour­tesy; at the very real impor­tance of it; and final­ly, at the fact that no one had ever told me I’d have such a con­ver­sa­tion in my own home.

Leave a Reply