What Celebrities Think About God

Hmmm… The Onion has an article collecting the comments that many celebrities have made about God over the course of their interviews. 

Some were articulate, some were stupid, most were puzzled. A few were humorous, in a sad sort of way:

Chuck Palahniuk wrote Fight Club and four other novels, including the new Lullaby.
The Onion: Is there a God?
Chuck Palahniuk: Yes.
O: Care to elaborate?
CP: Boy. Let me get back to you when I’m dead.

and

Stand-up comedian Steven Wright is known for his deadpan delivery and absurdist one-liners.
The Onion: Is there a God?
Steven Wright: Ahhh… You’ll have to ask Jesus.

and the kicker

America’s greatest living writer, Neal Pollack is the author of The Neal Pollack Anthology Of American Literature.
The Onion: Is there a God?
Neal Pollack: God does not exist, unless you are my mother-in-law and are reading this, in which case I definitely do believe that He exists, and will raise my children accordingly. But if you’re not my mother-in-law, and she’s not reading this, then He does not exist.

Read them all.