What Celebrities Think About God

Hmmm… The Onion has an arti­cle col­lect­ing the com­ments that many celebri­ties have made about God over the course of their inter­views.

Some were artic­u­late, some were stu­pid, most were puz­zled. A few were humor­ous, in a sad sort of way:

Chuck Palah­niuk wrote Fight Club and four oth­er nov­els, includ­ing the new Lul­la­by.
The Onion: Is there a God?
Chuck Palah­niuk: Yes.
O: Care to elab­o­rate?
CP: Boy. Let me get back to you when I’m dead.

and

Stand-up come­di­an Steven Wright is known for his dead­pan deliv­ery and absur­dist one-lin­ers.
The Onion: Is there a God?
Steven Wright: Ahhh… You’ll have to ask Jesus.

and the kick­er

Amer­i­ca’s great­est liv­ing writer, Neal Pol­lack is the author of The Neal Pol­lack Anthol­o­gy Of Amer­i­can Lit­er­a­ture.
The Onion: Is there a God?
Neal Pol­lack: God does not exist, unless you are my moth­er-in-law and are read­ing this, in which case I def­i­nite­ly do believe that He exists, and will raise my chil­dren accord­ing­ly. But if you’re not my moth­er-in-law, and she’s not read­ing this, then He does not exist.

Read them all.