Love and Tolerance

Last night at Chi Alpha’s week­ly meet­ing we had a guest speak­er — mis­sion­ary Mark Orfi­la. He’s been serv­ing for over a decade in east­ern Europe and has been think­ing very deeply about Amer­i­can cul­tur­al val­ues and how they relate to the King­dom of God.

He said a lot of very help­ful things last night, but I think the most help­ful went along these lines (the thoughts are his but the words are mine):

If I had to choose between tol­er­ance and hatred, I’d choose tol­er­ance hands-down.

But we’re not fac­ing a bina­ry choice — we have a whole range of options avail­able to us. And tol­er­ance can’t be the ulti­mate good in a soci­ety for two rea­sons: one philo­soph­i­cal and one prac­ti­cal. There must be some­thing high­er of which tol­er­ance is a spe­cial case, because if tol­er­ance is the high­est good then you have a real prob­lem — how do you han­dle the intol­er­ant mem­bers of your own soci­ety? If you tol­er­ate them, then you allow intol­er­ance to flour­ish. If you don’t tol­er­ate them, then you pro­mote intol­er­ance your­self. Either way intol­er­ance sneaks into your soci­ety. That’s the philo­soph­i­cal approach. But there’s an even big­ger prac­ti­cal prob­lem. Who wants to be tol­er­at­ed? Don’t we all want more than to be put up with? Tol­er­ance is a neg­a­tive virtue — it’s about what we don’t do to peo­ple. I won’t hit you, I won’t insult you, I won’t stig­ma­tize you. It’s a pecu­liar inverse of the gold­en rule — tol­er­ance tells us not to do to oth­ers what we don’t want done to us. It cre­ates a dis­tance between us and nev­er forces us to cross it.

The prob­lem with tol­er­ance for a Chris­t­ian is not that it sets the bar too high but that it sets the bar too low. We are called to love one anoth­er; in fact, we are even called to love our ene­mies. And rather than mere­ly respect­ing the dis­tance between us, we are called to treat them the way we wish they would treat us. Tol­er­ance is a poor sub­sti­tute for love. If it’s the only offer on the table I’ll take it, but in most sit­u­a­tions we should demand more (espe­cial­ly of our­selves).

Thanks for the clear think­ing on a cru­cial sub­ject, Mark.

One thought on “Love and Tolerance”

  1. Mark Orfi­la is awe­some. Good thoughts on tol­er­ance there. There’s two types of being dis­liked: active and pas­sive. Active is when peo­ple tell you to get lost; pas­sive is when peo­ple don’t care enough to tell you they don’t want you around. Guess which one is worse.

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