As I was standing in line for security screening at a flight, I began to think about how ridiculous so much of airport security is.
I decided that if I were rich and bored it would be fun to buy thousands of nail clippers and stuff them into my suitcase. I suppose it would look like solid metal when the machine scanned it, and so a physical inspection would be required.
I imagine the TSA agents unzipping the suitcase and gazing upon countless nail clippers. At first they would be puzzled. Then, slowly, comprehension would dawn. I would wait one heartbeat after that moment of awareness, then yell to the passengers behind me, “Operation nail clippers is a no go. Repeat, no go. Run for it!”
And then as I rush off into the distance, I would cackle back over my shoulder, “This isn’t over. We’ll be back. Next time we’re bringing bottles of water! Your planes will never survive against our schemes! Bwahahahah!”
And then I would use my rich person magic to make the charges against me go away.
That’s what I would do if I was rich and bored. As things stand, I was bored but not rich, so I left my nail clippers at home and disposed of my deadly beverage and all you get is this meditation upon the security farce we endure when we fly.
Yeah. Such a farce it is.
I haven’t flown since the increased TSA methods have been adopted, along with the x‑ray scanner.
Of course, I doubt many people flying would want our family on their plane… pure, crying chaos magnified six-fold.
My sister-in-law told of how on flying back from overseas, she had bought a couple of expensive bottles of wine or beer and was told to give them up and/or dispose of them before boarding. Sick to her stomach, she watched the contents that had been sealed, poured down a drain.
The stupidity of the TSA ban list was only further enforced recently in a discussion with a friend. He’s trained in various martial arts and thinks defensively in his every day life. He had bought a unipod (for cameras) to take on a trip and realized that it could be used as a blunt weapon, a stick/baton/bat, etc. It sailed through boarding with nary a word or glance.
And while nailclippers are a no-go, a sturdy metal pen can be used as a puncturing weapon (Cross pens anyone?) Hey, it doesn’t even have to be a metal pen.
The fact is, if someone wanted to try and take over a plane or attack a plane from within, where there’s a will, there’s always bound to be a way. “Necessity” (or desire in this case) is the mother of invention.
Besides, while we still have cases like the underwear bomber, I suspect we’ve got more to fear of soft targets on the ground being attacked instead of planes.
If a Republican wins next year, you can bet there’s going to be calls to curtail, privatize or abolish the TSA as it currently exists.
In any normal circumstance, the pat down the TSA has/does give would amount to sexual assault. All for our security.
Just give up a little bit more of your privacy and self respect. Now, a little more. And, a little more… hey, you want to be safe, right?
Evidently enough people don’t feel violated to excercise the power of the purse. If enough people determined that the “security measures” degraded and upset them enough to not fly, the air carriers would go screaming to the government due to the hit their bottom lines would take.
You can bet Ms. Napolitano does not endure the security treatment you or I get at an airport. Here’s to hoping she becomes a private citizen in a year.
I just had the unfortunate experience of having some cologne confiscated from me.
Now, mind you, I’d purchased said cologne in Israel, and made it through what is arguably the most strict airport security system in the world, so I was feeling pretty good about making it through the New Jersey airport security.
But no.
My cologne (purchased in the Old City of Jerusalem from a vendor, therefore meaning no recognizable label on the bottle) set off the bomb detector at its highest level. 1 hour, 4 tests, an invasive back-of-the-hand on my sensitive parts pat-down, a visit from the explosives expert, and a federal report on me later, I wasn’t even allowed to check the cologne through. It was simply confiscated.
This after me being able to cogently affirm that I had purchased it, that it had never been out of my possession, and that none of my luggage or the other things I purchased in the vicinity of that vendor had set off the detector. Nope, none of that common sense stuff mattered. The bottle was confiscated because “that’s procedure”.
In the end, I felt no safer than before, just really bummed.