Category: Personal News

While eat­ing break­fast this morn­ing, Dana said, “Your bot­tom is sag­gy, Dad­dy.”

Bewil­dered, I think I said some­thing on the order of, “Huh?”

At which point Dana began chant­i­ng, “You can’t han­dle the truth!”

Over and over.

I did­n’t think I’d have to put up with this sort of mock­ery until her ado­les­cence. I cer­tain­ly did­n’t expect it from a two year old.

I need to tell my ego to buck­le its seat­belt — it’s going to be a rocky ride from here on out.

Recent­ly we were all sit­ting down to din­ner when Dana fart­ed.

Mom: “Dana, what do you say?”
Dana: “Excuse you, Dad­dy.”

Peo­ple were, in my esti­ma­tion, entire­ly too tick­led by that remark. 🙂

Me: “Dana, what’s your favorite thing to put in oat­meal?”
Dana: “Raisins.”
Me: “What’s your sec­ond-favorite thing?”
Dana: “Spoons.”

I’m a lit­tle under the weath­er today (I have this real­ly painful cough that kept me up most of the night) and Dana noticed that I was rub­bing my eyes at lunch. The fol­low­ing dia­log ensued:

Dana: “Watchoo doing?”
Dad­dy: “Dad­dy’s sick and tired, and he’s try­ing to feel bet­ter.”
Dana: “You wan­na feel much bet­ter?”
Dad­dy: “Yes, Dad­dy would real­ly like to feel much bet­ter.”
Dana: “You want some dia­per cream?”

Bless her heart.

In response to those who have asked, today is indeed my birth­day. My 32nd birth­day, to be pre­cise. Thank you for all the warm wish­es.

If you hap­pen to be a Stan­ford stu­dent, I would appre­ci­ate it if you would trans­late your warm wish­es into a vis­it to our Chi Alpha meet­ing tonight. 🙂

If you’re not a Stan­ford stu­dent, a vis­it to a near­by church this Sun­day would warm my heart as well.

So I was poop­ing the oth­er day and Dana came and start­ed talk­ing to me through the bath­room door. She asked to come in and I explained that Dad­dy need­ed his pri­va­cy. So she sat down out­side the bath­room door and tried to peek through the gap beneath it.

When I flushed the toi­let Dana began cheer­ing and clap­ping.

“Dad­dy went in the big girl pot­ty! Good job, Dad­dy”

Odd­ly enough, it made me feel proud of myself.

The response to my April Wis­dom post was every bit as won­der­ful as I had hoped.

Only one per­son com­ment­ed on the blog, but we got sev­er­al more “live” com­mu­ni­ca­tions. My per­son­al favorite: a voice­mail mes­sage that said, among oth­er things, “I thought we had a deal.”

7613

Any­way, the anwers are:
Glen bald — TRUE
Paula pre­gant — TRUE
House pur­chased — HAH

1. Glen has shaved his head.
2. Paula is preg­nant.
3. We bought a house.

Two of the above state­ments are true. One is not. Dis­cuss.

Tonight we fed Dana fish sticks for the first time. The fol­low­ing is as close to a ver­ba­tim tran­scrip­tion as I can muster:

Me: “Dana, do you like those?”
Dana: “Yes.”
Me: “Those are fish sticks.”
Dana: “Chick­en nuggets.”
Me: “No, they’re fish sticks.”
Dana: “Chick­en.”
Me: “Fish sticks.”
Dana: “Chick­en nuggets.”
Me: “Dana, those are fish sticks.”
Dana, great­ly vexed, shook her fish stick at me and said, “This goes cluck!”

That just charmed my socks off.

You now have a chance to mess with Glen’s head. That’s right–you get to pick my next hair­style.

Why? I have a dilem­ma: I am bald­ing yet not bald. I don’t know what to do.

Almost any­thing (empha­sis on almost) will be con­sid­ered.

Assum­ing there’s no evi­dence of vote fraud (always a per­il on the inter­net), I com­mit to giv­ing the win­ning hair­style a sin­cere try.

So what are you wait­ing for? Mess with my head!