Category: Stanford/Ministry News

Good News/Bad News

When I’m not out preaching, our family attends Pathway Church in Palo Alto. Pathway is an 8‑month old church plant. Good things are happening there–a Mormon lady converted last week, for instance.

But anyone who’s ever started a ministry from scratch knows that some days are just painful to be a part of. Things go wrong that you would never imagine could go wrong.

This was one such day.

  • Good News: guest shows up based entirely on our internet ads.
    Bad News: while chatting with the pastor before the service she is struck solidly in the neck by a frisbee and has to go home, take some medicine, and lie down.
  • Good News: I brought five students from Stanford to check out the church.
    Bad News: every single one of our regulars who wasn’t helping missed church today. Every. Single. One. During worship it was me and the students in the congregation.
  • Good News: the songs were really cool songs.
    Bad News: two of the microphones stopped working between the sound check and the start of service and somehow the keyboard became possessed by a demon. At least, that’s my best guess. It sure moaned as though possessed.
  • Good News: Scott’s sermon was thoughtful and well-presented.
    Bad News: the translation that was shown on the screen was different from the translation Scott was reading despite being purportedly the same (further investigation reveals there are two editions of the New Living Translation–our pew Bibles are the first and our computer Bible is the second–who knew?). The effect was disconcerting and distracted from an otherwise excellent message.

I’m not one to hyperspiritualize things, but I see a correlation between the success our church has been enjoying lately and all the “nobody’s fault” glitches that popped up today. The Bible teaches us that we have an enemy, and sometimes he leaves scat behind.

This is clearly going to be one of those services we spend a lot of time laughing about in a few years… especially the frisbee in the neck bit. How random is that?

Sound the Kazoo–Salvation is Nigh!

Yesterday was our last day of tabling on campus for the fall kickoff, and it was worth every minute for one really unique experience: I actually saw a Jewish open-air preacher on White Plaza. Unexpected, given that Jewish adherents are rarely noted for their evangelistic fervor. He had a bullhorn and everything.

It was a bit hard to make out what he was saying, given that concurrently:

  • about 160 students and workers were holding a rather loud protest rally. “What do we want? Justice! When do we want it? Now!”
  • a hip-hop group was blaring tunes from their turntable set up about 15 feet behind the aforementioned preacher.
  • two acapella groups were also projecting music (although less thumpily than the hip-hoppers).

Still, it was interesting to speculate about the content of his message. I do know that at one point a dozen Jewish students were blowing kazoos while Rabbi Mychal Copeland blew a full-on shofar. I also was able to hear the occassional Hebrew phrase and a few English words like “inner brokenness.”

All in all, a most surprising development.

Bagels, Donuts, and Other Holy Things

We had a welcome brunch today for new students that we called, Bagels, Donuts, and Other Holy Things, which I thought was a rather clever play on words.

Bottom line: it went great. Our returning students did an awesome job of welcoming and hosting new students. This year is really looking solid, and I can tell that our returning students are getting excited about it as well.

Plus I just got off the phone with two freshmen who want to go to church with us tomorrow who weren’t even at the brunch. How cool is that?

How Students Have Made Me Laugh Recently

Presented without any context whatsoever:

I’m from Malaysia–the bigger the rat the better the food.

Student: What’s a sphincter?
Me: I will spare you the gory details–suffice to say that the question was answered
Student: You say that so matter of factly. Is that common knowledge?

Student A: You know, it took me days to realize that calling our brunch Bagels, Donuts, and Other Holy Things was a pun.
Student B: Oh my God–I just got it.

Me at the aforementioned brunch: Some of you may not have realized that Bagels, Donuts, and Other Holy Things is a play on words.
1/5 of students: Oohhhh.…

Also, I should mention that the sunbathing sirens were at their stations again yesterday. Reflecting on the available data, I’m offering three conclusions:

  1. They really want to be noticed.
  2. They may actually be frosh (note that this is a reversal on my part).
  3. At least one is Canadian, judging from the white maple leaf on a red background that covered the leftmost portion of her rump.

Which leaves me with one burning question–why do they make bikinis in Canada? Don’t they own thermometers?

The Stats Thus Far

Stats at the end of the third day of New Student Orientation:

  • Hours on campus: 12
  • Number of new students who have expressed interest in Chi Alpha to the extent of giving us their email address: 39
  • Number of models who have signed up: 1 (really)
  • Number of atheists I’ve had prolonged discussions with: 3
  • Atheists who have helped me work the table and told those who walked up that Chi Alpha was really cool, if religion is your thing: 1
  • Number of Ph.D. candidates who have helped me work the contact table: 2
  • Number of students I have told we are a transgender group: 1
  • Number of students I have told that sacrificing chickens is what makes us different from the other ministries on campus: around 10
  • Number who laughed: 9
  • Sunbathers I have mocked from a distance: 3

Not Exactly The Trinity, If You Know What I Mean

Towards the end of our time on campus today, as the line to register bicycles extended into the dozens, three extremely curvaceous, bikini-clad upperclassmen began sunbathing in White Plaza in full view of the freshman bicycle registration line. I suppose they each wanted a fresh man. I would not be surprised to learn that they accomplished their goal–at the very least they gave the frosh gals eating disorders and the frosh guys neck cricks.

An Unfortunate Mental Blank

As I was working our contact table today on campus, a freshman gal walked up and asked if we were a sorority (which makes me think I should wear something less frilly tomorrow).

As we are not, in fact, a sorority I tried to muster the necessary words to communicate that we welcome both males and females.

The obvious word is coed. What I should have said is, “No, we’re a coed Christian ministry.”

But I had one of those sudden inabilities to remember the appropriate word. My brain frantically raced up and down the halls of my mind to seize a word that would help her understand that Chi Alpha was both male and female.

I settled on transgender.

As in, “No, we’re a transgender group.”

Not my finest verbal hour.

As my brain slowly began to process the words that had come out of my mouth (which, distressingly enough, appear to be the overflow of my heart) I become less and less coherent as I tried to throw more words into the ensuing silence, not unlike trying to repair a bullet wound with more rounds of hot lead.

In the end, I think she understood.

I suspect she also thought I was a sad, strange little man.

The Big Tent

Freshman arrived on campus today, and so we were there as well.

There’s an event sponsored by the Office for Religious Life called “Frosh & Faith.” It’s actually more for parents than for students. It happens within a few hours of parents bringing their children to campus and is meant to reassure them that there is at least a remnant of students who strive for righteousness. At least, that’s my take on it.

Anyway, we always set up a table there along with the other groups and try to meet freshmen like crazy.

Today the weather threw us a curveball.

It rained.

In Palo Alto in September.

It rained.

I was stunned.

I was also dry, having had the foresight to bring a canopy. I was also soon alone, as all the other groups had neglected this crucial bit of preparation.

At first the other groups struggled through. We invited those at adjacent tables to shelter within our tent, leading to the never-before-heard statement from an ordained Assembly of God minister (moi) to an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister (Dean Scotty McLennan), “Come on in–the Assemblies of God tent is big enough for you.”

Heh. That made me happy.

By the end it was us and one or two other groups. Even the Office for Religious Life bailed.

A rather auspicious start to the school year–all the frosh have been baptized and now we just need to get them to show up.