How Students Have Made Me Laugh Recently

Pre­sent­ed with­out any con­text what­so­ev­er:

I’m from Malaysia–the big­ger the rat the bet­ter the food.

Stu­dent: What’s a sphinc­ter?
Me: I will spare you the gory details–suffice to say that the ques­tion was answered
Stu­dent: You say that so mat­ter of fact­ly. Is that com­mon knowl­edge?

Stu­dent A: You know, it took me days to real­ize that call­ing our brunch Bagels, Donuts, and Oth­er Holy Things was a pun.
Stu­dent B: Oh my God–I just got it.

Me at the afore­men­tioned brunch: Some of you may not have real­ized that Bagels, Donuts, and Oth­er Holy Things is a play on words.
1/5 of stu­dents: Oohh­hh.…

Also, I should men­tion that the sun­bathing sirens were at their sta­tions again yes­ter­day. Reflect­ing on the avail­able data, I’m offer­ing three con­clu­sions:

1. They real­ly want to be noticed.
2. They may actu­al­ly be frosh (note that this is a rever­sal on my part).
3. At least one is Cana­di­an, judg­ing from the white maple leaf on a red back­ground that cov­ered the left­most por­tion of her rump.

Which leaves me with one burn­ing question–why do they make biki­nis in Cana­da? Don’t they own ther­mome­ters?