the inimitable Terry Pratchett strikes again

If you’ve never had the pleasure before, you owe it to yourself to read something by Terry Pratchett. He’s a humor fantasy novelist who actually makes me laugh out loud on a fairly regular basis.

I just finished his most recent book and stumbled across these two little snippets that tickled me.

Thud! (Discworld, Book 30)

[Nobby said,] “There’s a lot that goes on that we don’t know about.”

“Like what, exactly?” Colon retorted. “Name me one thing that’s going on that you don’t know about. There–you can’t, can you?” (page 42) 

And later…

“War, Nobby. Huh! What is it good for?” he said.
“Dunno, Sarge. Freeing slaves, maybe?”
“Absol–well, okay.”
“Defending yourself against a totalitarian aggressor?”
“All right, I’ll grant you that, but–”
“Saving civilization from a horde of–”
“It doesn’t do any good in the long run is what I’m saying, Nobby, if you’d listen for five seconds together, ” said Fred Colon sharply.
“Yeah, but in the long run, what does, Sarge?” (page 50) 

The Big Tent

Freshman arrived on campus today, and so we were there as well. 

There’s an event sponsored by the Office for Religious Life called “Frosh & Faith.” It’s actually more for parents than for students. It happens within a few hours of parents bringing their children to campus and is meant to reassure them that there is at least a remnant of students who strive for righteousness. At least, that’s my take on it.

Anyway, we always set up a table there along with the other groups and try to meet freshmen like crazy.

Today the weather threw us a curveball. 

It rained.

In Palo Alto in September.

It rained.

I was stunned.

I was also dry, having had the foresight to bring a canopy. I was also soon alone, as all the other groups had neglected this crucial bit of preparation.

At first the other groups struggled through. We invited those at adjacent tables to shelter within our tent, leading to the never-before-heard statement from an ordained Assembly of God minister (moi) to an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister (Dean Scotty McLennan), “Come on in–the Assemblies of God tent is big enough for you.”

Heh. That made me happy.

By the end it was us and one or two other groups. Even the Office for Religious Life bailed.

A rather auspicious start to the school year–all the frosh have been baptized and now we just need to get them to show up.

Rat Redux

We thought our rat problems were over.

No such luck.

Like the Sith, our rats come in twos. We have slain the apprentice, but the master is still at large. Lurking. Waiting.

We found strong scatalogical evidence that the rat had spent some time browing around our bedroom, and Paula was so freaked out that I thought we were going to have to pack up and move into a new apartment on the spot.

We hereby declare a state of war on any and all rodents which have the misfortune to be found in our apartment. And to all “bystanders” just remember–you are either with us or you are with the rats.

Dembski Does Daily Show

William Dembski was on the Daily Show tonight for a panel discussion on evolution. He did much better than I expected, although it was obvious that Jon Stewart didn’t really understand the differences between old-school creation science and the intelligent design camp (or perhaps he simply didn’t care about those differences). In addition, I found it interesting that Dembski and Edward Larson were basically agreeing with one another on most of the points and that Stewart didn’t seem to pick up on it.

Redesigned PreachingToday.com is Sweet

The redesigned PreachingToday.com is really nice. The new media section is especially good (although it’s a bit hard to find the media browsing page–it’s http://preachingtoday.com/media/browse.html–and there are a few glitches they still need to work out).

Overall, I’m quite happy. I’m an annual subscriber and I’ve always gotten far more than my money’s worth. Now it’s doubly true.

The Rat Is Dead

In response to our crisis we set out two rat traps last night, behemoths capable of removing your toes. We awoke to find a dead rat.

Thanks to Jerod for the advice, we’ll keep it in mind for the future.

Happy Donuts Is The Bomb

To all my Springfield friends, you can keep your Mudhouse. I have Happy Donuts. Open 24/7, free wifi, and donuts. Hmmm… donuts.…

If Curt Harlow Had An Evil Twin

Paula and I were watching television a while back and realized that Jonathan Antin is the evil opposite of Curt Harlow. Seriously–if you know Curt watch Blow Out and pretend Curt was completely wrapped up in himself and had chosen to go into hair styling rather than college ministry.

Mothers-In-Law and Rats

Note to self: my mother-in-law does not appreciate me sneaking up behind her, hurling a ball at her leg, and yelling “SQUEAK!”

Rat-Pong

So we have a rat in our apartment. At least some of the time.

We’re not certain of this, but our best guess is that he’s a refugee from our neighbors’ place. They’ve been trying to evict a rat for months.

And last night Paula and I saw him in our dining room.

We set out traps. He ate the food off of them and laughed at our antiquated technology. He must be a stainless steel rat (how’s that for a gratuitous geek reference?)

Our other neighbors have cats, and so we asked for a cat toy to set out. We were operating under the theory that rats fear cats and that the smell would drive him to safer realms. Alas–this is a bold rat who enjoys playing with cat toys.

So as a last-ditch effort, Paula and I are resorting to psy-ops.

We left a note on our neighbors’ door to woo him home.

Dear Rat,

Please come home. Our food is organic and better-tasting. Also our kid is cute and wants a pet.

With much love,

Dirk & Emily 

In a very canny move, however, our neighbors demonstrated that they have careers in counterintelligence in case other things don’t pan out. The following was affixed to our door, directly facing the note that we had placed on their door.

Dearest Rat,

Ignore the sign on the other door–they just want to kill you! We looooove you!! And our kid is at a developmentally appropriate age to appreciate rodents. The other kid will try to eat you. Or your poop.

Love,

The Davises

Fortunately, Paula discovered a handwritten missive from the rodent at large which she delivered to Emily moments ago.

Dear Davis Family,

Thank you for your hospitality. You place was a great vacation spot. But now that the Robinsons are back I think I should go home. After all, winter is coming and their kid would be more useful in a blizzard, if you know what I mean.

I appreciate the thought behind your note, but I know the Robinsons quite well. After all, we share a bedroom (heck, sometimes we share a futon).

Signed,

The Rat

Yes, it actually says, “Signed, The Rat” at the end. Rats don’t get much instruction in writing letters at elementary school.

Anyway, I’ll keep you posted as developments warrant.