Author: Glen

With Visions of Wild Geese Honking in Her Head

Dana is a source of unenending amazement to me. This morning when she woke up we had the following conversation:

Me: “Dana, did you have any dreams last night?”
Dana (in a little 19-month-old just-woke-up voice): “Dream?”
Me: “Dreams are the pictures you see when you’re sleeping and your eyes are closed.”
Dana: “Goose.”
Me: “You had a dream about a goose?”
Dana: “Ya.”
Me: “What did the goose do in your dream?”
Dana: “Honk honk.”

I was melting.

I had been trying to get her to understand the concept of dreams off and on for a few weeks now, and while she’s always seemed interested she’s never actually answered my question with anything other than “ya”.

In case you’re skeptical, I’m pretty sure she understood my question and did actually have a dream about a goose. She hasn’t seen a goose in weeks (not even in her picture books). If one was on her mind it arrived there somehow other than a recent real-world experience.

Besides which, she told mommy the same story, “Dream. Goose. Honk honk.” when we went to get mommy up a few minutes later.

Chris Rock gets it…

In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul explains why Christians shouldn’t get romantically entangled with someone who doesn’t share their deepest values. Every year it seems that I have to hammer this into students’ heads. They’re involved in foolish relationships and they just can’t get (or refuse to get) why it’s a bad idea.

So I was thrilled to stumble upon Chris Rock’s Bigger and Blacker special on Comedy Central. He had a bit that expressed the underlying logic beautifully (if you are familiar at all with Mr. Rock’s work you will be unsurprised to hear that I have edited the text slightly for family-friendliness):

Whatever you into, your woman gotta be into, too, and vice versa… or the [thing] ain’t gonna work. lt ain’t gonna work.

That’s right. lf you born-again, your woman gotta be born-again, too.

lf you a crackhead, your woman gotta be a crackhead, too… or the [thing] won’t work.

You can’t be like, ”l’m going to church, where you going?” ”Hit the pipe!”

That relationship ain’t going nowhere.

Two crackheads can stay together forever.

Students take note. When stand-up theologians and stand-up comedians make the same arguments you know your position is indefensible.

When Ratty Comes Marching Home Again

Grandparents are rat magnets. At least, that is the conclusion I am rapidly coming to. As faithful readers no doubt recall, we had rat problems when my in-laws last visited (crisis, climax, ambiguous conclusion).

Anyway, back to the present: my mother is visiting and we have another rat to contend with. We saw evidence about a week ago but we set out some poison in a child-inaccessible location and the rat consumed a lot of it. We assumed it was dead, but today we saw its tail while preparing lunch.

We were minding our own business when my mother noticed a humongous rat tail sticking out from beneath the dishwasher. It was larger than a very large worm and smaller than a small snake. Probably about 7 inches long. Assuming it wasn’t mooning us I’ll assume a tail length of around 8 or 9 inches total.

Paula is less than pleased. I think she views it as a personal insult to her homemaking skills. I prefer to think of it as part of a larger ecological issue involving our apartment complex, the weather, and the impossibility of creating a hermetically sealed apartment.

But Paula is on the warpath. To delve further into cliche, it’s on.

updated 11/7/2005 to soothe the savage beast that is family

Hello, Dalai!

I got to hear the Dalai Lama speak at Stanford on Friday. I was actually a few minutes late because I was walking up from a non-standard direction and so I was trapped on the other end of his motorcade and the accompanying security detail. At one point I was about 15 feet from him.

A few thoughts in no particular order:

  • A student asked me why in world I would want to hear the Dalai Lama speak since he’s a leader of a rival religion. And then I read an article describing how some scientists are having the same reaction to the Dalai Lama’s scheduled appearance at a neuroscience convention: This merger of serious neuroscience with a particular religion is a practical joke because the very recognition of the Dalai Lama relies on the belief in reincarnation,” said Yi Rao, a neurology professor at Northwestern University. (source). I always find it funny when I see a scientist getting all fundamentalist. This is the flaw in that criticism: to say someone is wrong about one thing is not to say that they are wrong about all things. Of course I think the Dalai Lama teaches a lot of absurd ideas. That doesn’t mean none of his ideas are good ones. Plus, I figured I’d probably get a sermon illustration or two out of the mix. I was right, too–check out the next bullet point.
  • The talk was about nonviolence, and the Dalai Lama is a well-known pacifist and a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, so I was fairly shocked when I heard him say that the jury was still out on whether or not the Iraq war was justified. I am not taking this out of context at all–this was in direct response to a question whether or not war was ever moral. I don’t think the audience knew what to do with that at all. I was laughing pretty loudly on the inside.
  • He has a wonderful lack of decorum. In the midst of one question he took off his shoes, rubbed his feet, and tucked his legs underneath him.
  • He contradicted himself quite a few times, but it could have been a byproduct of not being fluent in English. He was talking about some subtle things and he may have used a few words imprecisely.

update 11/7/2005: the Stanford Daily just released an article about his visit echoing many of my points above (including the Iraq war thing).

Kyle Lake Died

Sometime last year I read a helpful little book called “Understanding God’s Will.” I googled up the author, one Kyle Lake (pastor of the church David Crowder attends–University Baptist in Waco), and emailed him a short note thanking him for taking the time to write the book. He wrote back to me and said thanks, which I thought was pretty classy of him.

So I was pretty shocked this morning to read about his death. He was about to baptize someone and he reached to adjust the microphone which then sent a current through his body, killing him in the baptistry.

Wow. He was about my age and he just dropped like that while doing a fairly routine part of his job.

My heart goes out to his family and his church. This has to be an incredibly hard time for them. And that poor woman who was getting baptized–I wonder how she’s processing all this?

Paula’s Grandfather Died

Paula’s maternal grandfather died earlier this week. He died very peacefully and comfortably, as far as anyone can tell. It was one of those expected things–he was 80 and had been ill for quite a while. He’s survived by his seven children and his wife.

I only met him a few times, but I liked him. He was a very kind man and very skilled at making things. Also, I think it’s cool that he spoke Cajun French at home to his family. A lot of people from southern Louisiana seem just like people from Genericville, USA, but he was the real deal. He was like all those Cajun chefs you see on television, except he made birdhouses instead of meals.

He’ll be missed.

Fortunately, he had such a large family that his wife will be well-looked after. Almost all their children live within a few miles of the family home.

They Look The Same

Yesterday Dana was sitting on the toilet attempting to wipe her bottom with tissue paper. After she felt that she had accomplished her mission, she lifted the paper to blow her nose into it. Logical from a certain vantage point, but disgusting nonetheless. Needless to say, I laughed like a madman.

Anne Rice–Christian

Anne Rice (the vampire novelist) has become a Christian.

“For the last six months,” she says, “people have been sending e‑mails saying, ‘What are you doing next?’ And I’ve told them, ‘You may not want what I’m doing next’.” We’ll know soon. In two weeks, Anne Rice, the chronicler of vampires, witches and—under the pseudonym A. N. Roquelaure—of soft-core S&M encounters, will publish “Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt,” a novel
about the 7‑year-old Jesus, narrated by Christ himself. “I promised,” she says, “that from now on I would write only for the Lord.”

Incidentally, her novel is getting rave reviews.

The advance notices say she’s pulled it off: Kirkus Reviews’ starred rave pronounces her Jesus “fully believable.”

You might also want to check the Wikipedia article on her.