Sound the Kazoo–Salvation is Nigh!

Yesterday was our last day of tabling on campus for the fall kickoff, and it was worth every minute for one really unique experience: I actually saw a Jewish open‐air preacher on White Plaza. Unexpected, given that Jewish adherents are rarely noted for their evangelistic fervor. He had a bullhorn and everything.

It was a bit hard to make out what he was saying, given that concurrently:

  • about 160 students and workers were holding a rather loud protest rally. “What do we want? Justice! When do we want it? Now!”
  • a hip‐hop group was blaring tunes from their turntable set up about 15 feet behind the aforementioned preacher.
  • two acapella groups were also projecting music (although less thumpily than the hip‐hoppers).

Still, it was interesting to speculate about the content of his message. I do know that at one point a dozen Jewish students were blowing kazoos while Rabbi Mychal Copeland blew a full‐on shofar. I also was able to hear the occassional Hebrew phrase and a few English words like “inner brokenness.”

All in all, a most surprising development.

T‐Shirts On Campus Today

While tabling on campus today I saw two t‐shirts that tickled me. The first was a Che Reagan t‐shirt. The shirt is delightfully ambiguous. Side note: the Che Jesus t‐shirts just don’t have that same vibe–the beret is just too much. The other was a Kerry/Gore t‐shirt. Kerry/Gore? What? They were never even running mates. It was Gore/Lieberman in 2000 and then Kerry/Edwards in 2004. I’m sure the shirt was supposed to be some sort of statement, but I can’t for the life of me figure it out.

Bagels, Donuts, and Other Holy Things

We had a welcome brunch today for new students that we called, Bagels, Donuts, and Other Holy Things, which I thought was a rather clever play on words.

Bottom line: it went great. Our returning students did an awesome job of welcoming and hosting new students. This year is really looking solid, and I can tell that our returning students are getting excited about it as well.

Plus I just got off the phone with two freshmen who want to go to church with us tomorrow who weren’t even at the brunch. How cool is that?

How Students Have Made Me Laugh Recently

Presented without any context whatsoever:

I’m from Malaysia–the bigger the rat the better the food.

Student: What’s a sphincter?
Me: I will spare you the gory details–suffice to say that the question was answered
Student: You say that so matter of factly. Is that common knowledge?

Student A: You know, it took me days to realize that calling our brunch Bagels, Donuts, and Other Holy Things was a pun.
Student B: Oh my God–I just got it.

Me at the aforementioned brunch: Some of you may not have realized that Bagels, Donuts, and Other Holy Things is a play on words.
1/5 of students: Oohhhh.…

Also, I should mention that the sunbathing sirens were at their stations again yesterday. Reflecting on the available data, I’m offering three conclusions:

  1. They really want to be noticed.
  2. They may actually be frosh (note that this is a reversal on my part).
  3. At least one is Canadian, judging from the white maple leaf on a red background that covered the leftmost portion of her rump.

Which leaves me with one burning question–why do they make bikinis in Canada? Don’t they own thermometers?

While working the contact table on campus Alan told me about a website a friend of his has set up called Which I think is funny because it could also be–a site to help you find short people like me. Anyway, it’s a great site for runners or for anyone else who needs to calculate distance as the crow flies.

The Stats Thus Far

Stats at the end of the third day of New Student Orientation:

  • Hours on campus: 12
  • Number of new students who have expressed interest in Chi Alpha to the extent of giving us their email address: 39
  • Number of models who have signed up: 1 (really)
  • Number of atheists I’ve had prolonged discussions with: 3
  • Atheists who have helped me work the table and told those who walked up that Chi Alpha was really cool, if religion is your thing: 1
  • Number of Ph.D. candidates who have helped me work the contact table: 2
  • Number of students I have told we are a transgender group: 1
  • Number of students I have told that sacrificing chickens is what makes us different from the other ministries on campus: around 10
  • Number who laughed: 9
  • Sunbathers I have mocked from a distance: 3

Not Exactly The Trinity, If You Know What I Mean

Towards the end of our time on campus today, as the line to register bicycles extended into the dozens, three extremely curvaceous, bikini‐clad upperclassmen began sunbathing in White Plaza in full view of the freshman bicycle registration line. I suppose they each wanted a fresh man. I would not be surprised to learn that they accomplished their goal–at the very least they gave the frosh gals eating disorders and the frosh guys neck cricks.